Robert Robus catches a baseball

Why, hello there! Welcome to the world of I, Robert Robus! Here I am at East 161st Street and River Avenue in the Bronx--which, as it turns out, just happens to be the address of a certain stadium at which a certain sport (which I don't seem at the moment capable of recalling to cognizance) is often played. And it is in this very spot, incidentally, that I have undertaken to examine a book. (For those of you who don't know, a book is a learning implement consisting of a sheaf of pages bound together by glue and other modalities.)

While it is true that I have not been able yet to proceed beyond the proximal chapter of this accoutrement, I am enjoying its contents immensely, I assure you. But hark! What is that noise stirring up from that building which hosts matches of that certain sport I cannot seem to recall to cognizance? If I didn't know better, I would have to call it cheering. And lo! What is that bright sailing orb that appears to be careening right towards the cranium of yours truly? I, Robert Robus, surmise that I must drop this book to the earth in order that I might capture the object, manually, in order that I might remain Vertical. And there! I have just let fly said book from my clutches, and here I am extending my right arm over my noggin in order to catch this strange orb, and. . .OW! The ball is hard! The ball is hard! I think I just smashed some carpals, doc! OW! OW! OW!

[BCD News Update]
The orb, upon further inspection by Robert Robus, appeared to said cybercelebrity to be a baseball. The story has since been corroborated by the NYPD and several drunk, beer-bellied forty-somethings in demotic shirts. No further details are available at this time; for BCD News, this is Kent Grummle, New York.