A dialogue on headbutting

Robert Robus: While I, Robert Robus, am much too civilized a personage ever to consider headbutting someone, I do derive some satisfaction from contemplating the thought.

Tartar: I headbutt people almost constantly.

Robert Robus: And have you met any adverse reactions from the recipients of these frequent acts of execrable violence?

Tartar: I've gotten decked a couple of times. In fact, I get decked almost as constantly as I headbutt people.

Robert Robus: Why, it serves you right, I daresay.

Tartar: I'm quite fond of committing these foul acts, thank you very much!

Robert Robus: I don't think that's quite the pertinent part of the matter, Tartar. I hold your behavior (and its concomitant boasting) to be highly reprehensible. Shame on you, you savage fiend!

Tartar: I may be a savage fiend, but I'm a savage fiend who is also your friend.

Robert Robus: Oh, yes. . .I forgot. I'm sorry for deeming you a savage fiend, Tartar. It shall never happen again.

Tartar: Apology accepted. And, Robert. . .

Robert Robus: Yes, Tartar?

Tartar: Your left shoelace-knot has been ripped asunder.

Robert Robus: By the name of Jove! Is that the case? (Looks down.)

Tartar (donking Robus's nose): Is the Pope protestant?--Ha, ha! Got you again, Robert--got you again! (Proceeds to chortle impishly.)

Robert Robus: If Mama Tartar were here, I daresay she'd be doling out a rather harsh spanking right now.

Laughter.
Curtain.