Robert Robus and Tartar at an amusement park

Verily, Tartar, I like going for the occasional spin on a roller-coaster as much as anyone. It is truly thrilling to careen through space with the aid of such glorious machinery as that with which this park is furnished. This ride which we are next in line for, furthermore, seems it shall prove one of the best: for I, your friend Robert, saw several people barfing at the exit last time it went around.

Ah, and here the module comes now! Tartar, my brave companion, the time has come: for we shall soon be able to mount the seats and experience the ride of our existences! I am so excited, I could do things to these very breeches that it would consitute a breach of decorum even to mention! But, no: that would not behoove me at this juncture.

Well, here we are, Tartar, strapped in to this wonderful machine, ready to be completely and gloriously jolted! (My cardiac organ is veritably drumming in anticipation.) And, oh! The motor is starting up! We're moving! This is glorious! This is celestial! We are speeding up! We are rounding a bend! We are entering a tunnel! We are speeding up more! We are now doing a loop at a zillion miles per hour! We have now broken the sound barrier and produced a sonic boom! By Jove, this is better than the sack! This is better than coffee! This is better than drinking from wine-skins after having lately gotten pricked by a large-horned bull, and--

Whoa! I believe you've saturated your breeches, Tartar! Quite verily, I believe you've soaked them through! One thing's for certain: you shouldn't have drunk all that cola when we were lunching at the funnel-cake stand! (You should have gotten lettuce and V8 like I, Robert Robus!) But I, Robert Robus, promptly forgive you your infantinity. We'll go into the restroom and clean you all up, won't we Tartar?--right after we descend five hundred feet in three nanoseconds' time on this next drop, that is! Farewell, dear readers! May Jove be with you until we meet again!