Robert Robus on guitars

While I, Robert Robus, am much too vaunted a personage ever to strum one of those musical devices commonly referred to as "guitars," I do enjoy hearing an occasional concert by one of my favorite metal bands--to which I will not refer by name, by matter of course, in order to preserve my trademark lofty dignity. Nevertheless, it is really quite titillating to hear a nice electric guitar solo, I must say. Or, my, those choppy power-riffs! How they stir the fine sensibilities of I, Robert Robus.

Today I have with me a C-list guitar god, Mr. Aughsumme J. Riphs, whom I have enlisted in order to demonstrate how an instantiation of said species of instrument is played. Let us all wish said deity a good evening and welcome him to the blog. --Terrific. (No screaming, though, please, Carol.) And, folks, he is now unsheathing his guitar from out its case; he is now connecting the instrument to the sound system of I, Robert Robus, in order that its riffs might be heard; and he has now turned the equipment to the on position. Oh, by the name of Jove, folks, how thrilling this is! I'm telling you, Alan, to stand not five feet distant of a C-list guitar god is simply sublime, ahnd. . .BWAAARRRNG! Oh--he has stuck a chord! O how glorious the sound; O how thund'rous the vibrations; and Jove, how ravished my eardrums!

Indeed, it appears that I, Robert Robus, cannot hear any longer, due to the fact that my tympanic membranes have temporarily burst. (However, I am certain it still sounds grand in here; you show them how it's done, Mr. Aughsome J. Riphs!) Ahnd so, for now, I must bid you farewell. Please return another day, dear readers, for more from the gilded plume of I, Robert Robus.