A dialogue on sneezing

Robert Robus: It's been said that sneezing is a pleasurable activity; and, verily, I believe that to be the case.

Bates: Eep eep.

Robert Robus: Why, Bates! It is extraordinarily superlative to hear you voicing your opinions in so articulate a fashion. And, while I understand that you are anxious to ascertain the precise philosophical underpinnings of my statement, I assure you that I am highly justified in making the claim.

Bates: Eep eep.

Robert Robus: Oh, most certainly, Bates. Much better than chocolate.

Bates: Eep eep.

Robert Robus: Indeed, indeed. And, with relation to that matter: what, may I inquire, is your opinion on colds?

Bates: Eep eep.

Robert Robus: Ah! So you opine that having a cold is also a highly pleasurable activity, quite apart from any sneezing it might cause? Brilliant!

Bates: Eep eep eep.

Robert Robus: You're welcome...and, yes, I have heard the rumors. But Bates, I must say that, given the choice betweeen being sandwiched by attractive, minimalistically clad young dames and spending an hour in a room full of freshly-ground pepper, I would quickly select the dames.

Bates: Eep eep?

Robert Robus: Yes, even if the pepper were astonishingly fresh and of quintessentially premium quality: for I, Robert Robus, am exceedingly fond of dames.

[Bates makes an inappropriate gesture and proceeds to embark on a protracted session of an activity which, though much in favor among monkeys of the brasher sex, would constitute a decided breach of decorum to mention.]