A walk in the lane with Ayvana

Allow it to be noted that the conspicuously attractive female attendant of I, Robert Robus--Ayvana--is amply and conspicuously attractive. And, while everything that glisters is not gold, I assure you, my readers, that Ayvana most surely is: for she displays only the most obsequious solicitude and docility in the face of any requests from I (Robert Robus), her distinguished attendee.

The opinions of I, it should of course be manifestly clear to anyone who peruses this blog on a quotidian or quasi-quotidian basis, are one and the same as The Truth: for I, Robert Robus, am equally immune to the common (but ultimately, to me, non-understandable) failings of mendacity, and of holding mistaken beliefs. And Ayvana, for her part, amply assures me of my infallibility on at least an hourly basis--isn't that right, sweetheart?

Ayvana nods plethorially.

Ah, yes! And now, it will be noted, Ayvana and I shall embark upon a short stroll in the lane: for at this very moment the weather is propitious for such an activity; and--in addition and verily--I do believe the black locusts are in bloom. Indeed, all is well in the world: for the flowers smell sweet; the funnel cake I crammed into my gorge this fine morning was delicious; the air is of a temperature which yields close to a maximum number of hedons of pleasure as my female attendant and I stroll through it (and, by the way, did I, Robert Robus, neglect to note that said female attendant is incredibly and incredulously attractive?); and my library of books by and on Epicurus is intact. Without deigning to check the news, I, Robert Robus, endeavor to assure you that there are no evil world leaders calling for the destruction of any other nation; and furthermore, were there such an evil man calling for others' destruction, he would surely be shunned by the world community, and the regime of which he were a part undoubtedly quashed.

Indeed, I, Robert Robus, hereby assert that neither immorality, nor complicity in injustice, exists in the world. But one thing I can assure you of, dear readers, is that Ayvana's lips are rubicund; that I, Robert Robus, find her rather sizzling; and that, had I not been betrothed to my bedstand before birth, I would wish said attractive female attendant to be my dame.

Allow I, distinguished personage Robus, lahst of all to assert to my conspicuously attractive female attendant, Ayvana, that the Beach Boys are the favorite band of he. The rest of this narrative, it will be clear, must be censored; but I assure you that, whatever assumptions you have no doubt already made about the nature of the activities that are set to transpire under wraps of this omission, I, Robert Robus, would find them positively tame.

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