Robert Robus is pursued by a foul tyrant

Ah! What a nice December day, perfect for a brisk walk in the park. Oh, I love it when the frosty air makes the cheeks of dames ruddy, coaxes delicate flakes of precipitation out of the firmament, and makes my mucus freeze. Ah, winter! And surely, as I walk along, minding my own business, there are no foul tyrants pursuing me, nor trying desperately to fence me in and imprison me (a man whom, lurked there a wicked tyrant in the vicinity, he would find it impossible for his puny mind to understand).

But ho! Look at this gentleman in a top hat, complete with handlebar mustache and evil sneer. This cannot be good, dear readers--this cannot be good! And look! He is, as we speak, producing a cell phone from his pocket, ready to call in his extragovernmental 'security force' for purposes of kidnapping me: for he hates bookish gentlemen who don't wish to cause anyone any harm!

Aaaaaa! The 'security force' is descending on me! I've not done anything wrong, gentlemen--honest I haven't!

[INTERJECTION FROM BLOG ADMINISTRATOR]
Ha! You think they care?

This is a shameful and iniquitous affair; I won't have it! For I, Robert Robus, am entitled to the ample and lofty dignity which is my desert and due. What? Why are you shoving me into this car? I do not wish to go with you, you degenerate curs! For I am Robert Robus, cybercomedian extraordinaire, who only wished to go for a walk in the park and behold the ruddy cheeks of attractive dames!

One of the degenerate curs looks at his fellow degenerate curs, a dim-lightbulb-tinged look illuminating his dull visage. 'Hey! Ruddy cheeks! Attractive dames! How about it, boys?' The other degenerate curs' faces light up, and they say, 'Yeah, Boinie! Let's go!' The boss says, 'Wait, boys! I ordered you to take this Robus character to our detention facility and cover his cheeks wid Reddi Wip until he confessed that he liked to read!' But the men had already descended on a ruddy-cheeked blonde, with whom they were flirting heavily (much to her obvious delight).

And such it is that I, Robert Robus, once again escape the clutches of Reddi-Wip-wielding tyrants, and bend my steps to my abode, where I shall read more Seneca. Until next time, dear readers!