Robert Robus waxes homesick

I, Robert Robus, did not have the luxury of spending Thanksgiving at home this year. Although regrettable, this state of affairs couldn't be avoided: for I, Robert Robus, am fleeing a tyrant. (I can't seem to place exactly which of the many tyrants with whom I am acquainted I am fleeing; but it's surely one of them.) And I miss my girlfriend (who is not my girlfriend), and my family, greatly.

At this juncture, let it be known that I, Robert Robus, hold the act of suicide in low esteem--even if, at times, the difficulties of my life have made said act appear a rather pleasant possibility, in contrast to my harried and oftentimes stormy existence. But I cannot give in to the forces of death; for, even if my life seems treacherous now, who knows what can happen in the future, with a little wisdom, knowledge, love (hard to come by) and trust in God. But perhaps I grow quixotic.

Am I mad at life for treating me this way? I, Robert Robus, would be lying if I said no. And, though I at times lose faith in the God of my ancestors (and at times grow angry at Him, too), I cannot give in. I've seen too much, dear readers, not to believe; and, though the classic conflict between science and religion continues to torture my mind, I always seem to side with religion--admittedly reasonable-seeming anti-religious arguments to the contrary. I sometimes wonder if religion and science are mutually exclusive (especially given the high emphasis on science in Nazi Germany); but surely this is an oversimplification of a complex issue. (Plus, didn't Allied forces need a high level of technology to defeat the Axis powers?)

I'm left with a trust in God that stands against reason, with my mind as a helpful tool to aid me in promoting, in any way I can, what I know to be right. The scientists always seem somehow to be wrong about the ultimate nature of the world, and in their estimation of mankind; whereas those whose highest allegiance is to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob seem to reach conclusions that strike me as the only ones which are truly "reasonable."

It is a choice for me to trust in God; it's also brought me much strife. If I remained faithless, as I was through much of my youth, chances are I'd wish to perish rather than face the rest of my life.

I do not.

I miss my family of origin and my future wife, and wish to return home. Only the threat of tyrants and injustice keeps me in exile. For, were I confident that I, Robert Robus, would need face no charges (by, say, an assurance--in writing--from the governor of my home state that all charges have been dropped, and will never be revived), I, Robert Robus, would return home IMMEDIATELY.

Don't underestimate my determination to remain away, however--and to continue to fight, from a distance, the forces that threaten my livelihood--as long as the peril to myself and my livelihood remains in its current state.

With love
and great homesickness

Robert Robus